Homeschool vs. Socialization

We have been a homeschool family for 7 years now, and in that time I have been questioned, attacked (verbally), talked about, laughed at, and lectured for our choice to homeschool. In the first few years it really bothered me, especially when the comments or lectures were from friends, family, or co-workers. It bothered me a great deal that what I felt I was called to do and what I felt was right for my family, was so upsetting to others.

Even though the first few years were hard, I have since come to the point in which, I know this is the right choice for my family and I simply don’t care what others think. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and I respect that. All I have asked in return is that others respect our choice as well.

A few years ago, I decided that I was no longer going to allow other people’s thoughts and comments about homeschooling bother me, and for the most part, not much of what others say about homeschooling bothers me anymore. That is, until a few days ago.

This weekend, I was once again questioned about our choice to homeschool. Actually, at first my children were complemented on their manners and conversational skills with an older gentleman about ocean life. Then the kids were asked how old they were, what grade they were in, and finally, what school do they go to. My kids look up and smile and say they go to school at home, I then confirm that we homeschool. And, that’s when, the smile disappears and the, “oh, I see” comes out.

After listening to quite a few of this person’s thoughts about homeschooling, some positive and some not, I learned that he was in the public school system for many years. This explains the initial reaction to our homeschooling choice. Yet, for awhile we continue with a simple conversation about public school and homeschool. And I was quite surprised to hear him say that other than the social issues, he felt homeschooling was not a bad idea. He agreed that homeschooled children may very well end up with a better education due to the fact that we can truly focus on each child and adjust things to fit each child’s needs and their individual learning styles.

When the comments about socialization came up, I was not surprised. But for some reason, this time I was frustrated. It was probably due to the accusatory tone when it was said that homeschool kids might do ok, as long as they have lots of proper socialization. 

He was referring to socialization one receives in the public school setting. I kindly listened to his thoughts and then simply could not hold my tongue anymore.

I caught myself listing off all of the “socializing” we do, in order to defend my homeschooling decision. I listed off scouts, homeschool enrichment classes, play groups, and more. Then, frustrated that I once again allowed another’s thoughts to bother me, I decided to take a different route. Instead of focusing on what types and how much socialization homeschool children do get, I talked about the public school setting socialization homeschool children do not get.

I told him that while our homeschool social settings may be different, I am pleased to know that my children are not being taught to judge others, whether by clothing style, race, religion, or popularity. I also told him I was glad that my forth grade son is not learning about the birds and bees from little Johnny, whom has already made it to second base with little Sally down the street.

I mentioned that my children are free to be who they want, think and feel what they want, and to truly believe in their own ability to do anything they set their mind to. They are not held back by what other kids think is “cool”. Homeschool children have so much more freedom to be themselves and follow their beliefs and dreams without fear of ridicule or worse.

I explained how great it is that I can explain to my children things like sex, drugs, gangs, alcohol, modesty, abuse, rape, and others in the proper time and place. While these are all things they will be exposed to in some form at some time, being confident that I or my husband are the ones explaining these first and properly is comforting. Also, knowing that while discussing these topics we can include what God teaches us, reassures me that my children will be properly informed.

Of course, I did have to tell him that being able to celebrate Christmas in our homeschool and not a winter festival was pretty important too. Along with the most important being that my children are free to talk about God, learn about God, and pray before meals or when they want, without being punished for their religious beliefs.

Last, I did mention that with they way things are changing, I am very happy to have my children out of the public school system. I fear what the future holds for us all and I do not care to have my children raised by government owned schools.

Surprising enough, he listened and agreed with just about everything. I think it was a turn he didn’t expect and I think some of what we talked about made him look at the homeschooling vs. socialization issue differently.

I did feel bad about bombarding the poor man, but I think that the many times I simply nodded my head and kept quiet, had been adding up and finally just couldn't be held in any longer.

My hope is that others will begin to look at homeschooling for what it truly is for each family, not what they assume it is. It is far more than a mom sitting and teaching a child math facts or how to read, it’s a lifestyle of learning and guiding in a way that will hopefully bring about God loving, caring, giving, happy, successful, confident, self motivated and well adjusted adults.



Wild Thing -aka- Secret Agent J9 turnes 9

** We have an update on the screen names.

The kids have decided that they want different screen names.

Lady Bug (11 year old daughter) will now be known as: Secret Agent M12

 Wild Thing (9 year old son) will now be known as:  Secret Spy J9

Little Man (5 year old son) will now be known as: Secret Spy Storm 5

Monday was Secret Spy J9's 9th birthday. Since Daddy had to work all day the kids and I decided to enjoy the day and celebrate the next day.

Secret Spy J9 said he wanted to go to the skate park on his birthday, so we did. The kids took their bikes and skates and had a blast showing off their daring tricks.

Secret Spy Storm 5 decided he'd had enough and took off to play in the dirt.

After the skate park we decided to visit some family then do some sight seeing.

Actually we were on our way home, the scenic route, and I decided we should investigate some new roads we had not been on before.  Luckily we discovered that we were on private property before the owners found us roaming around on their beautiful land. In my defense we were in awe of the beautiful land and simply enjoying the drive.  

During our little road trip we discovered an area that I was not aware of. There were a few ranch homes with a good bit of land and beautiful dirt roads. Yes, I called the dirt roads beautiful. To me, having a dirt road running up to your home or along your land brings peace. Dirt roads are usually only found in remote areas and places not traveled by many, which means peace and quiet.

Secret Agent M12 noticed a few critters she thought to be foxes enjoying the warm pavement and cool breeze. We turned back and were able to drive quite close and see that they were coyotes before they decided to sprint off into the woods. They sat in the trees just off the road while we all watched from the car. Of course I couldn't get my camera to cooperate when we were close, so this is the only picture that turned out.

 

There was one point in our drive when I found the land that I want...someday. Maybe in the next few years the current owners will decide to downgrade and sell, to us! It was beautiful, lots of green grass, and trees, and a small pond. It was perfect! 

After our little road trip we were blessed with sunbeams all along the mountain range. It was far more beautiful than my little point and shoot camera could show. The rays of light were so bright and through the rain it was just amazing.

Sunbeams have always held a very special place in my heart. When my brother passed, as a toddler, my parents had the words; God wanted me as a sunbeam, placed on his head stone. Now, any time I see sunbeams I feel like my brother is saying hi and reminding he is watching over us all.

This morning, before Secret Agent J9's birthday party the boys and I took a trip over to our little library. The library has had some fun summer programs set up for the kids and we are taking advantage of as many as we can. This morning they had a Dinosaur Dig event. The kids were able to make dinosaur masks, a dinosaur puppet and even dig for dinosaur bones. They dug through a large box of shredded paper to find hidden bones and through another box of sand to find shells that they were able to bring home.

Since Secret Agent J9 loves dinosaurs, this was the perfect start to his day. Dinosaur dig in the morning, and a super spy party in the afternoon. Perfect!

Secret Agent J9 and Secret Spy Storm 5 showing off their masks and puppets.

This afternoon was the Spy Training Program for most of the afternoon our home doubled as spy training headquarters.

The newest graduate, Secret Spy J9, was given a new set of spy equipment. He was happy to have new tools for his job.

Much of his new equipment had to be delivered in special Top Secret packaging. You can never be too careful when shipping spy gear.

All of the new agents in training were given their new Agent ID's and fingerprinted. Their new photo and Code Names were transferred to their ID's and security clearance paperwork.

It's a messy job working on a new agent's paperwork.

Each new agent now has their own Top Secret folder and ID. Watch out there are 9 new little Secret Agent/Spies running around.



Part of today's training was to practice getting through the red lasers they will run into on their special missions.



Each trainee managed to survive the high voltage lasers used during our training session.

A string of new agents are now certified and onto their first missions.

After each training the highest ranking agent gets a special spy treat.



Happy Birthday to my new Secret Agent J9!

We love you!

Faith

-I am the Lord your God. I am holding your hand. And I tell you, "Don't be afraid. I will help you."-
Isaiah 41:13

This is our Bible verse for this week.
Every few weeks the kids and I pick a Bible verse to memorize and practice writing. Lady Bug writes it in her best handwriting and usually adds some form of art around the verse. Wild Thing works on simply copying the verse, and occasionally he will add some art work as well. Now even Little Man is copying the verses too, and doing quite well.

Each verse we pick usually is something that fits our need at that moment. Our last verse was:
-A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.- Proverbs 15:1

The reason for that verse was the continuous arguing and bickering between the kids, and us. We sat one morning and read the verse a few times and discussed what we all thought it meant, and we each gave some examples. The kids did a little roll playing by saying something harsh, and answering, then saying something kind and responding. It was a fun way to get the kids to see the different responses to kind or harsh words.

It was neat how much even Little Man understood and took to heart the Bible verse. One of the afternoons Little Man and Wild Thing were arguing over a toy and from the other room I hear Little Man say, "Don't you remember our Bible verse? A harsh word makes anger but a nice word turns away anger. You should do what the Bible verse says, and talk nice to me."
Of course, I am smiling and almost laughing because Little Man is yelling this all to his brother but at least he remembered and understood the verse.

Anyway, the verse we have right now, is proving to be difficult for me. Not being afraid when there are medical issues with your child is difficult. I think it's even harder at the moment because we had made some great progress and I had begun to feel a weight lift, thinking we were finally out of the woods. But unfortunately, it looks like we are back sliding a little. The progress that has taken so long for Lady Bug, is slowly receding. We are trying to keep things at an even level and just slowly work on forward progress but it is proving to be very difficult once again. Difficult and very frustrating.

With the risk of sounding heartless, my first reactions were ones of selfishness. I was just starting to feel like I could breath again and take some much needed time and focus on myself for awhile. But,
not so. I just pray that we can get ahead and soon be in a peaceful and progressive place once again. It  seems to get harder and harder each time when life hits you in the face with a slamming door. It makes it hard to enjoy the peaceful and happy times, because slowly, you begin to keep watch for the next door coming your way instead of allowing yourself to enjoy those wonderful moments you do have.

Such is life. So on we go, always hoping for the best and dealing with whatever comes our way.
Knowing that no matter how difficult life gets or what is thrown our way, God is on our side and will help us, is comforting. I am not always happy with or understand His timing or His plans, but I am trying to trust that He knows what's best and that He will get us through. 

Now that I have had my little pity party, I do want to say: 

Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there! I hope you have a wonderful day! 

To my dad, 
Happy Father's Day, I love you! 

To my husband,
You are a wonderful daddy to our children. I could not have asked for better. Thank you for loving 
our kids as you do! I love you!

-please ignore any typos, I wrote this post on the iPad and it's horrible for writing a blog post-

To two-piece or not?

**Just a note, as requested by hubby, we have gone back to screen names for the kiddos.
Lady Bug-11 year old daughter, Wild Thing-8 year old son, Little Man-5 year old son**
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 With summer here and the heat wave in full swing we are all having to find ways to keep cool. We have not had a chance to get our window a/c in just yet, so we are keeping doors, windows, and curtains closed and our fans strategically placed through out the house to keep it as cool as we can.

This morning we decided that we'd had enough, so we took off to a small splash park near our home. We met with a few friends and let all the kiddos run and cool off in the water for a few hours.

It close to our house, lots of fun for the kids, and best of all, it's free!

While we were there today a friend and I were talking about what swim wear we will and will not allow our children to wear. She and I both have what seems to be "old fashioned" ideas when it comes to swim suits for kids, especially girls.  

The last time we went shopping for a new swimsuit for my daughter, these were they types of suits I found in

 her size.

                 

It took going to 3 different stores to find a "normal" swim suit that did not show nearly every inch of the body. I know these are common in adult size swim suits but I was really surprised to see them all the way down to sizes for girls as young as 8 or 9 year old. Lady Bug even pointed out some really questionable style suits for toddlers. Now, granted I do seem to have a very different idea of appropriate wear for young girls compared to what is normal and accepted now.

I have not allowed Lady Bug to wear bikinis, short shorts, very tight clothing, or anything with words across the tush. I will however allow her to wear what ever else she wants as long as she is modest. So when she walks out in knee high socks, shorts, long sleeve tye-dye, and a baseball cap, I smile and say, "ok". And when she wants to dye her hair blue, I will agree with that before I let her walk out the door in short shorts with the words "hot stuff" across her tush!

From the time my kids were little we have talked about what our family's idea of modest and appropriate clothing is. Luckily, my kids have very rarely given me any trouble with what they are and are not allowed to wear, other than the occasional fit when I mention real shoes instead of flip flops...when it's snowing! Of course the boys could care less about what they wear, but even Lady Bug has only a few times wanted to wear something I don't allow, and usually it has been a old favorite piece of clothing that is now two sizes too small.

For my daughter, we've talked about the difference of an adult choosing to wear something revealing and a young girl wearing something revealing and the different types of attention it will draw for both a woman and a young girl. We have also talked about women and girls wanting to look sexy, what that means and why we need to be modest. I am happy that for now, she too feels that many of the swim wear for young girls and teens is too adult like and not something she wants to wear! I know that may change in the near future as she is nearly 12 and I'm sure eventually her taste and desire to look a certain way will change.

You can call me a prude but I am one who feels that so much of the clothing and swim wear for young girls today, sexualizes them way too early, and that is already a problem in our society. I don't care to have my young teen look "sexy". Even when the young girls are not trying to draw attention with their clothing or swim wear, unfortunately it can draw attention from those you wish to keep away from your child.

Now that I have finished my little rant, I hope you all are having a great start to your summer.

 

Monday's Mumbling...

*There are so many pictures posted on facebook but this one has always caught my eye, and my heart.

*This morning I enjoyed having 90 minutes all to myself before the kids woke up. It's not something I get to enjoy often, and never for quite so long. I was completely surprised when I woke up to find all three kids still asleep. Normally, the boys are the first ones up and often they are up with the sun! 

*We started back to school today. We've taken the last two weeks off and enjoyed the start of our summer. We will be doing school through the summer, but not a full schedule. We will be working on reading, writing, and math. After this last year I feel we need a little time to catch up with our school.

*I finally had a chance to get my garden cleaned up and some seeds planted. As of right now I have squash, onions, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers, watermelon, and pumpkins. Now, if everything will survive and produce anything, is any one's guess. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

*Wild Thing has a birthday this month and has decided he wants an underwater spy themed party. Meaning he wants the pool, slip and slide, and the sprinklers out at his party. So I am trying to come up with some "spy" ideas. I have a few thoughts on some little trinkets to make for the kids, but I'm up for suggestions if you have any!!! He is turning 9 and is all boy, so anything that involves dirt, noise, toy guns, bugs, snakes and anything icky and creepy is what he loves!

*My sweet little Little Man was working on his words today, and I am impressed at how well he is doing. He flew through his words quickly and with ease. I love that he is reading!
He has been working on reading the first of the little Bob books.  They are cute little books that are written so that the beginning reader can read a whole book!

*There aren't too many families involved yet, but I have finally put together a "fun club" for homeschoolers. We meet twice a month in the summer and once a month through the winter. So far we have been on a nature hike, had a picnic, and we have met at  the park to let the kids play.  This week we are going to meet at a local attraction and enjoy a morning hike and maybe another picnic afterwards. Then, later this month we are going to meet at the local art museum and enjoy the art the kids will work on some art of their own. Depending on time we may also take a trip over to a local favorite of mine, the pioneers museum.

*Hubby is enjoying his new job. He has been there nearly 6 months now. It's a big adjustment to where he was for the last 17 years. The hours and schedule are different and that is going to take some time to get used to. But the company is, thankfully not family owned, which in this case is a big bonus.

With summer here and so much to do I have not been able to blog as much as I'd like. It's such a nice outlet for me, so I will be here as often as I am able.

I hope you all are having a great summer so far.

Remember, if you have any "spy party" ideas please share!!